All for a good cause

So on Friday, I did what for most people would be a supreme self-sacrifice. In fact, most people I know would flat refuse to do what I did, even though it involved no real physical pain, no real unnecessary expenditure of energy, and got me out of doing real work for a few hours.

I did however require the total abandonment of one's self-consciousness.

Before I continue, I've got to delve in a little self-examination, because a thought just occurred to me. I am ordinarily a very self-conscious person. I suppose this is a result of the endless teasing I endured as a child throughout junior high and high school. I mean, I caught alot of shit. I don't suppose that I was all that different from most of the kids, but I was different in a few key areas. I was slightly overweight, I was bookish (and most of my reading material had dragons on the covers), I didn't curse (things have changed, obviously), I didn't really date and I was a total suckup when it came to teachers. Oh, and I had absolutely no fashion sense (something that hasn't really changed all that much).

All of the teasing caused me to develop some severe issues with self-confidence, especially when it came to my looks. And those issues have persisted to this very day. There are times when it is really hard for me to even step out the front door. I'm always obsessing about the way I look.

I don't know if my friends notice this, as I try to hide it when I'm around people, but I live in constant fear that I will do something embarrassing. I'll say the wrong thing. I'll wear the wrong thing. I'll eat too much. I won't eat enough. I'll drink too much. I won't drink enough. I sweat too much. That last one is especially high on my list which makes living in Texas not so easy.

So what's odd about all of this is that there are times when I find it extraordinarily easy to take all of that self-consciousness and throw it completely out the window. For some reason, I find it really easy to get up in front of a crowd and make a total doofus out of myself. I will wear the silliest get-ups, the weirdest costumes and put on the goofiest gags I can think of and absolutely love it.

And that's what I did on Friday. I threw all thoughts of embarrassment to the wind and dressed up in a lion costume. And it was great! All week long, I pretended to bitch to everybody about how dumb I was to suggest the idea of dressing up, when secretly inside, I couldn't wait to get into costume. I couldn't help it. I was really excited to get into that big foam head and dance around like an idiot in front of everyone that I work with.

Now I realize that this post may be a little confusing at this point. So I will remind you that there was a really good reason that I was dressed up in a costume a good month before Halloween. The whole idea was to raise money and awareness for the JDRF Walk to Cure Diabetes.

And we did. And it was ever so much fun! JoAnn got the easier part and got to dress up in a sort of safari outfit, and we got some of the other folks in the company to put on animal masks and run a little carnival in the lobby. We didn't make a ton of money, but we did get everyone in the company talking about the walk.

And the legend of goofy Matt got a little bigger at work.

Okay, so you've all waited long enough. Here's a few pics of the costume. Enjoy!

Where no man has gone before...

Hello again, dear friends.

Let me begin by saying that this is not going to be a Star Trek post. I just wanted to get that out of the way. Take a moment if you need to. I know that the disappointment must be a little much to handle right now.

Okay.

The point of this post is to discuss a couple of little medical situations that I have encountered recently. I'm doing this here, because it seems the easiest way to do it. I hate to bring this stuff up at social gatherings, because then it seems like I'm just whining, or seeking attention. I mean, what kind of downer would it have been to mention it at Babs' birthday party, eh? And I just couldn't figure out how to send out a random email saying, "Oh, by the way, they're going to be cutting into my torso later."

Anywho...I just got home from having an endoscopy done. Now, I probably don't have to explain this to my friends in the medical profession, but for everyone else, this is a procedure where they stick a tiny fiber-optic camera down your throat to see what's going on in your esophagus and stomach. Thankfully, it's all under anesthesia. Apparently, though it's the kind of anesthesia where you're awake and responsive, but you don't remember anything about. Kind of like a tequila bender but without the hangover.

The point is, the test came up negative. The doctor said that they didn't find anything unusual. Which is really good. I just have some acid reflux, which is being kept handily under control by the little purple pill.

So that's item number one. Unfortunately, the endoscopy didn't show what was causing all my stomach problems. For that, I got to run down to the Austin Radiological Clinic and have a nice little ultrasound down on my abdomen.

And guess what? I've got gall stones. Yeehaw man. I won the jackpot!

So, now that the endoscopy has been done, I've got to talk to a surgeon and setup a time where they can hack out my gall bladder.

On the whole, it's not so bad. Using laparoscopic surgery, they can remove it with only a couple of little holes and one or two stitches.

So that's enough about my medical issues. I just wanted to let everybody know in case I come up missing for a few days. Or if I act a little weird every now and then. The good news is, after all of this is done, I should feel a ton better. At least I hope so.

So wish me luck.

Oh, and the joke on the title was supposed to be about things going way down my throat. Lame, I know, but I couldn't think of a witty title other than that.

YARRRR!!!

Yarr, maties!

I don't normally be postin' at work, but I had to board the bloggin' ship quick-like to point out that today do be International Talk like a Pirate Day!

'Tis one of me most favorite days o'the year, it is. For even if I don't be talkin' like a pirate at every opportunity, I do be keepin' it in me heart, and I do be livin' the dream in me own piratey soul. The dream to be roamin' the seven seas, with a good deck beneath me feet, feelin' the roll o'the waves, hearin' the crack o'the rifles, and the boom o'the cannon.

Yarr...'tis a good dream.

And I do no be alone in me dreamin'.

May your powder always be dry and the wind be always at yer back, maties!

Blog Rummy

Well, hello there, friends.

No, you're not dreaming. This is indeed a new post.

Why, yes, I think you should sit down. I know you're feeling rather light-headed and giddy at the thought of actually reading something new on my blog. It's okay to feel this way. These feelings are not wrong. Just go with it. Live in the now.

Anyway, you're all wondering what's taken me away from the blogosphere for so long, but I'm afraid I don't have a really good answer. So I'll do what Donald Rumsfeld does when he doesn't have an answer. I'll ask a series of rhetorical questions, and then answer them myself. (Just imagine the Donald Rumsfeld voice in your head. Or better yet, Al Franken doing his impression of Rummy.)

Have I been under alot of stress at work lately? Of course I have. It's work. Ya know. It's hard. It's hard work. I've been working hard. (Okay, that was more W.)

Have I been too lazy to update my blog lately? Well, ya know, some people would say it was lazy, and some people would say that I've been conserving my resources. We've got a long blogging campaign ahead of us. Will it be over in 6 days? 6 weeks? 6 years? I don't think 6 years.

Have I not had anything I thought was worthy of blogging about? Well, that's tough to say. You know, you go to blog about the life you have, not about the life you want to have.

Have I just gotten high definition digital cable and allowed it to take over the brunt of my free time? Well, now that's true, but the HD cable is important. It's part of the larger global war on boredom just as blogging is...

Okay, that's enough of that.

Needless to say, I'm back. Besides, I promised Sarah that I would update if she would donate to the JDRF. (Speaking of which, if the rest of you are reading this, send me moooonnaayyy. Please?)

So lets do a quick run through of what's been going on in the Storyteller's world since he dropped of the radar. Hmmm.... Let see, the last time I updated was just before my last business trip. I don't know how to make bullets on this thing, so you'll just have to imagine that the following is a bulleted list. I really like bulleted lists.

BULLET) I took a trip up to Fishkill, NY. It was a somewhat interesting excursion, though nothing special. We flew up on a Monday and back on a Friday, so no time for sight-seeing. Spent most of the time either hacking away at my laptop in a conference room, or standing around the cleanroom in an uncomfortable bunny suit taking notes. But the Hudson river valley is really beautiful, and the pizza was the best I've ever had. Oh, and flying out of Stewart-Newburgh Regional Airport is like being on the set of Wings.

BULLET) Finally finished book 4 of the Wheel of Time series. I'm kind of ambivalent about it. On the one hand, I really like some of the characters, and the world is undeniably detailed and rich. On the other hand, Robert Jordan's prose can be a bit overdone, and unnecessarily long. And just when you feel like you're getting into the heart of the action, he switches from one thread of the story to another that is far less exciting. And he takes forever to get anywhere with the plot.

BULLET) Despite my best efforts to overcome it, I continue to be 30 years old. I have searched the net for hours trying to find some cure for it, even the snake oil variety, but I have yet to locate one. There seem to be some promising treatments, but most involve laying out huge wads of cash for exotic sports cars, putting ones person at risk to try and raise the levels of adrenaline in one's system, or imbibing large amounts of alcohol in an attempt to burn out those brains cells that persist in reminding you of your age. I have tried the last one; unfortunately, I appear to have had an adverse reaction that causes me to become even more aware of my advanced age. As usual, it seems the best method is simple diet and exercise. And increasing levels of pharmaceuticals, but I suspect that is simply hype created by big business.

BULLET) Last, but certainly not least, I did indeed acquire high definition digital cable. I did this primarily in preparation for the upcoming season of Battlestar Galactica, since the digital cable came with a DVR. However, I was extraordinarily surprised to find how well my television performed when supplied with the right electronic input. Now if the rest of the world would only start catching up more quickly and broadcasting EVERYTHING in high definition. Actually, that would be bad as I would probably become utterly couch-ridden. I must note, however, that the Universal Studios HD channel will soon begin airing the second season of BSG, as well as the one and only season of Firefly in high definition. And now my life is complete.

Well, I suppose that's enough for now. I've got to save some for later, or I'll be getting more angry emails.

Don't worry, there will be more self-centered and inane ramblings headed your way soon. What else is the net for?

Ta ta for now, dear friends. We shall meet again soon.

MST