The Storyteller's Abode

Trying to stay updated

2008-12-15T19:01:00.000-08:00

I'm sure that most of you reading this will not be surprised by the way this post begins. I haven't posted in a while. With the exception of Laboratory Tested, most of the blogs I read are not being updated very often either.

However, since the few people who read my blog on occasion continue to berate me for not updating often enough, I'm trying once again to get back on the wagon and update at least once or twice a week. So here are a few items of interesting in my recent life.

Facebook:

Most of my blogger friends are spending alot of time on Facebook now, so being the follower that I am, I've gotten sucked into it as well. Now that I'm actually using it, I'm surprised at its usefulness. It's not at all like what I thought it would be, and I've already started reconnecting with people that I have grown farther apart from in recent years. However, it doesn't give me the ability to really keep people informed of what's going on in my life like I thought it would. A blog, for all its self-indulgence, is still the better tool for that.

Upcoming trips:

Well, first of all there is the standard Xmas trip coming up. We'll be heading up to my folks' place for the holiday. Then I've got a whole week off to do nothing until after the first of the year. I'm hoping I won't just sit on my ass and play video games the whole time, but the Xbox is so . . . demanding.

Anyway, the next trip after that is a short jaunt up to DC to visit some dear friends. I'm really looking forward to that. Getting to meet my friend's new animal companion, eating great food, and seeing some sights. After that, it's going to be all about saving up time and money for, hopefully, a trip to Europe in the fall.

Upcoming events:

I've spent too much money on getting to see some great shows coming up in February. One weekend, we're going to see Ron White at the Paramount theater. I'm really looking forward to seeing him. He's the only Blue Collar comedian that I think has real talent. And he's in the prime of his career, or so it seems.

The other big event may not be worth the money, but it is still something that the wife and I are both really looking forward to. We're going to get to see Robin Williams performing live at the Frank Irwin Center. It's not going to be quite like seeing him in the 80s when he was in his prime, but I've almost never been disappointed by one of his performances. Almost never. I guess we'll see.

Well, that's about all for now. More updates to follow. Hopefully.

Achieving . . . Equilibrium

2008-09-06T19:25:00.000-07:00

There are certain tragedies in this world.

I suppose that in the grand scheme of things, this particular "tragedy" is not truly worthy of its moniker. But in life, some small things often seem far more important than the really big things.

So that is why I can describe the way that a certain piece of cinematic art is a tragedy, in that it was so egregiously overlooked by American movie audiences, and insomuch as it has taken me so long to partake of it myself. It should also be noted that there will be further tragedy in this post because I simply do not feel myself adequate as a movie reviewer and therefore truly unable to impart to you the awesomeness that is the movie: Equilibrium.

Let me begin by saying that one of the truly astounding things about the movie Equilibrium is that it is helmed by director Kurt Wimmer, who is also its writer. The reason it is astounding is because he will probably be best remembered, or perhaps best forgotten, for the unbelievable dud that was Ultraviolet. Apparently, between the making of the grand piece of art that was Equilibrium and the sad piece of dreck that was Ultraviolet, Wimmer suffered a stroke, or massive brain hemorrhage, or was abducted and lobotomized by aliens or something.

At any rate, this much earlier film has all the hallmarks of a true sci-fi masterpiece. Lets look at a few ingredients.

First, we begin with the Dark Knight himself, Christian Bale. It was, in fact, Bale's appearance in this film that prompted my good friend Mark to recommend it for my viewing. I vaguely remember seeing its cover grace the shelves of the local Blockbuster, but I overlooked it, just as the rest of Amurka seemed to. Anyway, we then immediately sprinkle in just a dash of Boromir, er Richard Sharpe, I mean, that is to say, Sean Bean. Oh poor Sean. The British Isles turn out so many grand actors, women and men who dwarf most of their American counterparts, and yet they only seem to get noticed when they affect a mid-western accent. (For those of you who don't know, Christian Bale is Welsh. That's right, Batman is a friggin' limey.)

Now having said that we should not overlook the excellent seasoning provided by Taye Diggs. This guys is just top to bottom a solid actor. And he looks really good in a black trench coat. But, then again, who doesn't?

Let's see now, where are we? Right. Next we add equal parts of Fahrenheit 451, 1984, and The Matrix. I'm sure that in my lack of real film knowledge, I'm leaving out some other critical film or literary influence that few people are familiar with, but we can always add a dash of a few other things from our spice rack: The Crow, Brazil, Dark City, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera.

If all of these films and books did not influence the film, then they at least were called to my mind by it. We see a vision of a future utopia, where anger, hate and fear are a thing of the past, along with war, murder, jealousy, and all the other negative emotions, through the widespread application of a drug which suppresses human emotions. Of course, as is often the case, we see that this utopia is truly a distopia, as the drug not only suppresses these negative emotions, but also the emotion of love, the appreciation of beauty, art, and everything that makes humans . . . human.

Our hero, John Preston, aka Bruce Wayne, er Christian Bale, is the most elite of the ultra-elite group of Clerics whose job it is to hunt down and "combust" those fringe elements who refuse to be drugged into a state of unfeeling stupor. After witnessing his long-time partner's downfall at the hands of William Butler Yeats (oh just google it), he, somewhat predictably, begins his own exploration of outlawed emotion.

It sounds, at first, as if this is going to be a predictable story-line that will play out in predictable ways. And in some ways, it does. But what sets it apart from a whole host of other futuristic films is the patience way that the direct brings us along on his protagonist's journey of discovery. Think about the first time you heard a Beethoven symphony. Remember what it felt like the first time you touch a lover's skin. What did you feel the first time you watched the sun rise, especially if you had watched that same sun set the night before. Our hero is finds himself feeling all of these emotions washing over him in rapid succession, all while trying not to display them to his fellow clerics.

It's a powerful piece of film-making. And when you throw in some incredible fight sequences, the "gun kata" and, yes, even puppy dogs (believe me, it seems trite, but it was one of the most powerful scenes in the film), one is left with a feeling that a terrible miscarriage of justice was done. That this film is not well known, that it is not spoken of with reverence by every sci-fi geek you've ever met, that it is not listed among the greats like Blade Runner and The Wrath of Kahn, well . . . perhaps time will be kind to it and it will find itself becoming a true cult favorite.

As for me, I know it's going to find a place of honor among my DVD collection. I don't expect any of you to take my word for it, after all, I am the guy who liked Walk Hard and who has all five seasons of ATHF, but I hope that you will take the time to see this lovely piece of celluloid.

And I dare you not to feel something, anything, when you watch it.

@#$% NBC in their #$%@ing goat mother@#$%ing asses

2008-08-09T08:16:00.000-07:00

How many cool Olympic sports are there? huh?

Archery, fencing, shooting, judo, taekwondo, kayaking, rowing, equestrian . . .

And out of all the hours and hours of programming NBf-ingC is broadcasting, what is the only thing I can find?

Soccer and volleyball.

Using their online schedule is like trying to solve a Rubik's cube, and when you finally do find the listings for men's and women's individual foil quarterfinals, what do you find? It's only online.

So @#$% NBC. @#$% them right in their corporate, totalitarian-government loving, IOC-fellating, mother@#$%ing goat asses.

There. I feel better.

Update No. 60.194.82.1

2008-07-13T13:32:00.000-07:00

No, the numbers don't mean anything. It's like the stardate on Star Trek.
But my brain is a little fried right now, so I was trying to come up with something witty. Eh.

So, family first. Right now I'm sitting in Pitt Memorial Hospital in Greenville, North Carolina. I was supposed to be on a plane heading back to Austin, but we'll get to that in a moment. The reason that I am in a hospital in North Carolina is because that is where our new niece is. Michelle's sister-in-law was well on her way to a perfect pregnancy when she developed pre-eclampsia [sic]. I don't know if that's the right spelling, but I do know it's a very bad thing. Basically, it meant the baby had to come out way sooner than it should have or both of them would be lost.

The good news is that SIL is now fine, and the baby is doing as well as can be expected right now, which is pretty well for being two months pre-mature and teensy tiny. But she's a precious little thing and there are enough prayers and positive waves heading her way that I don't think there's anyway she's not going to be fantastically fine.

We flew up here late Thursday night and spent the last couple of days with Michelle's brother and sister-in-law. We were supposed to fly back today at about three, but modern-day commercial air travel being what it is, a little bit of bad weather at a key point means that we are not flying back until the butt-crack of dawn in the morning. So, we're taking advantage of the time to visit the baby again. Which really just consists of standing next to her pod while she sleeps.

But it's worth it.

Dammit George

2008-05-28T19:37:00.000-07:00

What did I ever do to you, huh??

That's right, just like Lenny in Mice and Men, George has once again taken a piece of my childhood and crushed in his meaty CGI inflated hands.

I should have expected this from Lucas. But I never thought that Spielberg would be complicit in such mutilation.

So, if you haven't figured it out by now, I just got back from seeing Indiana Jones and the Crystal Skull. It pains me to say it; it's like daggers for me to admit it, because even though we all know that the Temple of Doom has, up until now, been the low point of the Indy trilogy, this movie brings a new nadir. At least in my humble opinion.

I will admit upfront that this movie did have it's moments, many of them delivered by Shia Lebouf [sic] (man, that kid's gotta get a better screen name). I won't give them away here, because I'm sure many of you haven't seen the movie yet, and I'd like to let you unearth the rare artifacts of goodness in this sad parody of a classic movie trilogy.

I thought Harrison Ford's performance was okay. But come on, he's getting up there. The early Gen Xers can claim that 40 is the new 20, and the Boomers can claim that 60 is the new 40, but ol' Harrison just isn't the Indy/Solo that we used to know. We still love him, but he's not pulling down any 19-year-old Carrie Fisher ass anymore and you know it!

But that wasn't the real problem with the movie. The problem with the movie is that once again, George Lucas's abilities far outstrip his movie-making wisdom. He never learned the lesson that just because on CAN do a thing, it doesn't mean that one SHOULD. What I always liked about the Indiana Jones movies was that, even though they were full of insane and, yes, unlikely stunts, and even though they always hinged on an element of the occult and paranormal, the movies had about them a kind of gritty reality that made you think maybe, just maybe, there really was something to all those old myths and legends buried in the desert sands.

In the past, we sat down with our popcorn and feasted on far away destinations: Cairo, Calcutta, Hong Kong, Venice, Alexandria. Even the parts of them that were recreated on sound stages looked realistic and had a depth that sucked you in. Not so with this film. None of the locations looked real to me. The jungle scenes were too perfect to be anything but blue-screened backgrounds. The action sequences seemed to be the same old rehashed memes that we seen in too many adventure films. Nothing seemed that innovative or provocative. And the ultimate ending, which I am doing my best not to spoil, was a tired old piece of tripe lugged out from one too many tin-foil hat, pseudo-scientific, Ripley's Believe it or Not craptacular late-night History Channel filler programs.

And not even replacing the Nazis with KGB agents fulfilled all the full promise that it could have. I love Cate Blanchett (again [sic]), but she really did give a sub-standard Boris and Natasha kind of Russian agent performance.

There are just so many places they could have gone. Yes, Indy did a lot of work in Egypt, but there are still alot of archaeological veins to tap in the middle east. What about an ancient Mesopotamian myth, or even, if you wanted to deal with Soviets in 1957, something to do with vampires in the Carpathians. Or even bring Indy a little closer to home and follow the Arthurian vein. Instead of the Holy Grail, he could have gone in search of Excalibur. So many possibilities wasted for something that would have been better suited to the upcoming X-files movie. But there, I think I've said to much.

All-in-all, my recommendation would be not so see this movie in the theater. Save your 10 bucks and Netflix it (or Blockbuster it, or whatever). You won't really be missing out on anything.

I'm going to go cry myself to sleep now.

DAMN YOU, GEORGE LUCAAAAAAASSSSSSS!!!!!!!!

He will join us . . . or die

2008-05-16T06:10:00.000-07:00

The dark side . . .
It consumes me . . .

I couldn't help myself. It was just there, calling me. Such clean, simple lines. When I picked it up, the weight of it was surprising. Just a box, and yet, within it's depths, such wonders. It's glossy surface intrigued me, it's colors seeming to shift beneath my gaze. I clutched it to my chest and stumbled from the temple. The temple of eternal light wherein the clergy of the everlasting electron perform their esoteric rites, taking the offerings of the hopeful and blessing them with the totems of the gods.

I hurried back to my abode and huddled in the center of my living room, in front of the great altar. The sweat began to bead on my forehead as I broke the seals on the holy container, my fingers trembling ever so slightly as I lifted the lid and saw what lay within. So many cables, like little bits of gut curled inside some alien beast. Did they pulse when my fingers touched them? I ripped into it like a beast on its fallen prey. Before long, the viscera of cardboard and plastic baggies lay strewn about me. But the heart of glory stood at my feet. I caressed it so gently, lovingly; I began the surgery. I would meld this thing with my altar, make it one with the place of worship I had constructed so painstakingly over the course of the years. And when it was done, when the rites were complete, I made my obeisance to the gods and gave it life.

Instantly, a brilliance washed over me. Light. Color. So intense, so crystal clear, it pulsed in my brain, sucking at my very soul, but filling me as well. I fought for control, I fought to maintain the balance. It has me. I know now that it will forever call to me. I must battle this thing for all time, fight to maintain that razor edge between ecstasy and torment.

What have I done?
What creature of damnation and Hell-fire have I unleashed??

I...bought...

...

an Xbox.

God help me...

I can haz nefu?

2008-04-24T05:22:00.001-07:00

Indeed, I can!!

It is my pleasure to announce to you, my dear readers, the birth of my nephew, Caleb Alexander, born this day the Twenty-Fourth of April in the year of our Lord Two Thousand Eight.

Here's the stats:
Weight: 7lbs 5oz
Height: 20.25 inches
Fingers: 10
Toes: 10
Awesomeness: Complete

The only pic I have as yet is a little small and grainy. I'm assuming it was a camera phone. But here it is. Of course, the LOL elements were added by me. Just for grins.

...the day after

2008-04-12T20:06:00.000-07:00

I'm not going to be drinking whiskey ever again.

Okay, at least not for the rest of the week.

I don't do hangover's very well. I spent several hours this morning praying for Death's sweet release, knowing it would not come.

On the other hand, it's an interesting position to read a post on my own blog, and feel like I'm reading it for the first time.

Sorry for inflicting that one you.

Although my recommendations still stand.

TTFN,
MST

God... I am such a geek

2008-04-11T17:58:00.000-07:00

I can't help it really.

This is the first time I have gotten really, and I mean REALLY drunk, comma, in quite a while. I didn't realize, until recently, that Knob Creek whiskey was a product of our nice ol' Kentucky friends over at the Jim Beam distillery. God, I lurv those guys.

Anyway, I'm pretty drunk, and I think it's HILARIOUS to blog when I'm drunk.

So here it goes. I was watching season 1 of Rome. I think it's a great series by HBO. It ranks right up there with Showtime's series "The Tudors". I can't wait til season two of that comes out on DVD.

But now that I've finished the second disc of Rome, I decided to watch, drunk as I am, good ol' Kenneth Brannagh's version of "Henry V". Ah, I have such memories of this play. When I was in grad school, my very good friends and I took a course by one of the most brilliant professors in the field of Shakespearean drama, little ol' Douglas Brooks. We spent weeks developing a scholarly edition of the St. Crispin's Day speech from said play. And so it stands dearly in my heart.

Thus, I popped it into yon DVD player as I am very, VERY drunk on premium whiskey. And thus in such state of veritable bliss, I noticed in passing that the part of "Boy" was played by none other than the very Dark Knight himself. That's right. The man who appeared in Stephen Spielburg's "Empire of the Sun". The inimitable Christian Bale. God. That guy is such a good actor. He couldn't have been more than fourteen or fifteen years old. What I wouldn't give to be in his place. I always dreamed of acting Shakespeare on the stage.

Anyway. I give you now the greatest recommendation that I can of any film adaptation. Check out Branagh's "Henry V". There is simply no play in the world that can be bad if it's got Brian Blessed in it. I dare you not get chills when he looks right in the camera and says: "Bloody CONSTRAINT!!"

I'm gonna go sleep it off now.

Love you all,
MST

Upadate:
Lest we not forget, other great British actors, at least those that I know if. Don't overlook anything with these actors:
Christian Bale
Dereck Jacobi
Brian Blessed
Dame Judy Dench
(okay, she's not in it, but I still also love Maggie Smith (Professor McGonnagle, for the win))

I'm really not looking forward to the hangover tomorrow...

KUT is dead to me...

2008-04-08T19:24:00.000-07:00

Okay, at least for the next week or so.
For those of you not reading this in Austin, KUT is our local public radio station.

My morning listening routine usually consists of listening to Jason and Deb on 101X as Michelle and I get ready. In fact we have both developed an unhealthy addiction to that morning show, but that's another post.

Anyway, on my way to work in the car, I usually switch between 101X and KUT so that I can get the news of the day from NPR. Unfortunately, this week is KUT's annual give-us-some-fucking-money-cause-the-fucking-republicans-took-it-all-away drive.

Which means I can't listen to KUT this week. I mean, I pay my taxes, I vote for the people who fund public radio and television, and I even manned the phone banks once for the PBS station in College Station. I know this sounds really selfish of me, but I've already PAID for NPR. Through my taxes.

They've started this line of begging where they say, "Oh, don't you love the in depth reporting we do, like when we spent 600 straight hours telling you about every last person who lost their house in Katrina? If so, then you need to pay us for that!"

No, no I don't. Because it's PUBLIC FUCKING RADIO!! That's the whole point. I don't have to pay for it. If I paid for it, it would be Sirius. Or it would be cable. Besides, even if I did give you fifty bucks, it would be a drop in the bucket next to the corporate donations you already get, so that those corporations can get more write-offs. And I'd still have to listen to the longer and longer sponsor ID cuts in between stories. I know that ArcherDanielsMidland is the supermarket to the world, or what have you. I also notice that I haven't heard any investigative reports about how they are raping the environment lately. Curious, no?

So, instead of getting to listen to actual news when I switch over from 101X because they're playing the same Foo Fighter's song for the hundredth time in a row, or because I don't want to listen to that stupid titty-bar commercial again, I am forced to listen to the local KUT voice talent saying how much they enjoyed bringing you a thirty-minute retrospective on local washboard players.

So, please, for the love of gods, vote for people who will fund NPR and PBS at higher levels. So that I can listen to that cranky sports guys on Wednesday without hearing him beg for money.

TTFN,
MST

Mo' money, mo' problems

2008-04-07T17:35:00.000-07:00

I promised myself that I would try and blog more, so here I am. Blogging.

I hate just blogging for the sake of blogging, but I guess I'll try. If you don't get completely bored by my life, the way I am, I guess it'll work.

I've been working on a budget. Again.

I attempt this every so often, because my wife and I are both horrendous with money. Oh, we follow the old axiom of "Pay yourself first", of course. We've got the requisite 401K, state retirement account, Roth IRAs, savings account, etc. But now that our credit cards are payed off, along with our cars, we've got more disposable income than either of us ever thought we'd have at this point in our lives.

And we spend it. Frivolously. At least, that's the way I feel about it.
So, every now and then, I attempt to sit down and create a budget. I figure that if we put most of this disposable income into savings each month, then by the end of the year, I would be able to buy myself a brand new car and pay cash for it. No more car payments. And in another year after that, we could afford to go anywhere in the world that we want to go and spend as much time there as our limited vacation time will allow.

The only problem is that I have far more good intentions than I seem to have follow-through ability. And Michelle is as bad as I am.

Still, I will try once more, just like with dieting. Maybe it'll stick this time.

Mark put me onto a really good website, as well. www.mint.com

It's more or less a free, online version of Quicken, or similar expensive money-managing software. You log onto the site, connect through it to the secure servers at your various accounts, and the program gathers your transactions and categorizes them into wonderful little pie charts, average comparisons, and budgets.

Mark assures me that it is all very secure, and I trust him on these things. The only thing he obsesses about as much as computers and Street Fighter is his money. And so far it works pretty well. I need to feed it some more info, but already, Michelle and I can see where we're pissing away all of our money.

Well, that's enough about dirty, sexy money for one night.

TTFN

I'm so gay sometimes

2008-04-03T11:29:00.000-07:00

I don't usually post from work, but this will be a quick one.

So I was logging into Rhapsody last night, and I saw that Kylie Minogue has a new album out, entitled simply X. Just for esses and gees, I put it on.

And here's how I know I'm gay.

I REALLY LIKE IT!!

Especially the track "No More Rain".

I recommend giving it a listen, if you like that kind of thing.

And no, I don't you to set me up with that new receptionist, no matter how cute he is.

Too many question . . . no answers

2008-04-02T18:34:00.000-07:00

So, it seems like lately, there are lots of things that are making me unhappy.

Well, unhappy is maybe too strong a word. Annoyances, frustrations, uncertainties; I'm not sure if these are better terms either.

I haven't been blogging, because I'm not sure that anyone else wants to hear about these nagging doubts, these incessant gadflies, the little things that add up to a general sense of discontentment in my daily life. But, since I don't really have anything else I feel like talking about this night, I guess you're stuck with it.

I guess the problem is that I feel, just, locked in. Like I've settled in to a life and it would be just too much trouble to try and break out. And then there's the fear. Frankly, it's not fear for myself. But I feel like I have to maintain this lifestyle for Michelle's sake. She says that she doesn't care, that all of these things we enjoy and spend money on are not that important, but she seems happy. Or maybe that's a front as well...

Take, for instance, our house. Now, it's a lovely house. And I like it. When we first moved in, I LOVED it. But over the last few years, the polish has worn off a little, and I see all the little things that I was too inexperienced to realize at the time would drive me nuts. Like the slope of the yard that makes it impossible to sit in a chair on the grass. Not that you would want to, because it faces the west and heats up to a thousand degrees every afternoon as soon as the weather warms up. Or the multi-story thing. Which I thought would be super fun, not having grown up in a house with multiple stories. But it's impossible to control the temperature correctly between the upstairs and downstairs.

Or the fact that, now that I have to live in it, I realize that a blind chimpanzee was responsible for designing the layout of the living room. And then there's the neighborhood.

It's a great neighborhood, don't get me wrong. And I thought it would be great to live there. In fact, when I was a kid, this is exactly the kind of neighborhood that I dreamed about living in. But I'm not a kid anymore. I don't have any friends to ride my bike down the street and hang out with. Everyone here is either much older than us, or they have little kids, and we have nothing in common with them. I dream of having a cool couple move in next door who are looking for another couple to hang out with on the weekends. That's a whole 'nother post, though...

The point is, here I am living in the suburbs, like I dreamed about as a kid. I grew up in the sticks, and couldn't hang out with any of my friends, because they all lived in town and during the summer I was mostly isolated. It wasn't until I was a teenager and got a car, that I could really got out and do stuff with friends.

Okay, so I should get to the point before you all completely abandon this post.
Except, I don't think I have a point.

Well, okay, here's the point. I hate living in the suburbs. I feel like such a tool living here. I come home and pull into my cul-de-sac after a 45 minute commute, and I have to weave around all the cars, because everybody here has, like, three cars in parked around their house. I feel closed in, with my tiny yard, my tiny garage, my tiny driveway. I just long to fell open space around me.

And that's my first conundrum. What do I do about it? Part of me thinks it would be cool to sell the house and buy a really overpriced apartment downtown. Would it be open spaces? No. But at least then, I would feel like I was more connected to the city. I could walk to the grocery store. Take the bus to work. Walk down to the clubs and hip restaurants, and not have to worry about driving home. And perhaps we could afford a little honeycomb up in the sky, where we felt like we could look down on the world and just take it all in.

Or we could look for a place far outside of town. Fifty or sixty acres, full of trees , with a couple of ponds, maybe a creek. Someplace I could raise some horses, or maybe some little burros. Or even goats. I could really have a reason to drive a pickup. I could buy a tractor. I could go out on my porch in the evening and smell the dew coming up on the grass; feel like I could really put down roots and make a life. Build something.

But instead of either of those, I am stuck in the middle. Stuck in suburban hell. Stuck in mediocrity. And that's the way I feel about my whole life right now. And I don't know what the frak to do about it.

Perhaps this is not the right place to vent these issues. I'm not sure you guys really want to listen to my shit. But there it is. It's what's going on in my brain right now.

Thanks for listening.

Am I back?

2008-04-01T18:31:00.000-07:00

"You never write . . . "
"Are you there?"
"Update you f***ing blog!!!"

I'm not sure that anyone is left to read this.

I have no idea how long it has been since I posted an entry to this blog. To be honest, I'm afraid to look.

I don't know what has happened to me. I wouldn't call it writers block. I certainly wouldn't call it a lack of ideas. I have ideas bouncing around in my head all day long. I mean, it's really crowded in there. I wouldn't even call it laziness. I haven't been lax about other things lately. I've been dieting, I've been traveling for work, I've been exercising several nights a week; hell, I even built a wine rack. From scratch!

There's a metaphor that comes to mind, though, from back in the days when I lived on a ranch and helped my grandfather work cattle. We would get a bunch of cows in triangular shaped pen, like a big funnel. At the small end of the pen, there's a chute. It's the only way out of the pen. Now, the cow's don't want to be in the pen. We're doing things that cause them anxiety, like spraying them with chemicals. They want to be there, and there is only one way out.

But here's the problem: THEY WON'T TAKE THE ONE WAY OUT! No matter what we tried to do, when we got them near to exit, they would balk. They would turn back to the crowded pen rather than go down the cramped chute, into the unknown. Sometimes it would take us hours to get them out of the pen and down the chute. It was frustrating and just made you want to quit and go home.

Now, what does this have to do with my writing?

Well, the thoughts in my head are like cattle in the pen. They go around and around, but when they get near the outlet, they seem to balk. I have so many ideas for stories, but when I sit down to let them out, they balk. It's frustrating, and it makes me just want to quit and go home.

But here's the thing about working with cattle. You have to have patience. If you let them balk, and don't get them down that chute, even if it takes all day, then you might as well give up on working them anymore. Once they learn that you won't make them go through with it, they never will go down that chute.

So, I won't give up. Maybe I won't ever produce a novel. But I must continue to write, as so many of you have urged me to do time and again.

Please be patient. If I can just get the ideas headed down the chute, maybe you won't be disappointed.

Talk to you again soon, friends.

Reviving the classics

2007-12-15T08:11:00.001-08:00

So, my last post was supposed to be about one of my new little pet projects. It didn't quite turn out that way, so this one hopefully will be what it should have been. Lately, I've been on a kick to learn how to mix some of the classic cocktails of yore.

I've become very dissatisfied with all the new fru-fru drinks that are out there these days, and I've always been fascinated by those classic flavors of true cocktails. While the 1950's and before were not at all the "good ol' days" that alot of ancient congressmen make them out to be, there is definitely one thing that can be said about it. Back in the day, those sons of bitches knew how to drink.

A real cocktail is simple, usually having no more than a couple of ingredients, and doesn't have alot of unnecessary liquid in it. If you have the proper ingredients, you can put one together in a couple of minutes, and there's not need for blenders, or fancy glasses, or alot of cleanup afterwards.

Now, this is not to say that I would turn down a good blended drink. Fireweaver makes the best frozen margaritas and pina coladas that I've ever had. And when certain friends introduced me to mixing champagne and chambord a couple of New Year's Eveses ago, I have to admit it became a guilty pleasure of mine. But for a nice simple respectable drink that will give you a nice easy buzz, allow me to recommend a few of the following classics:

The classic margarita:
2 ounces of tequila
1 1/3 ounces of triple sec
1 ounce lime juice (MUST be fresh squeezed)
Shake with ice and strain into a cocktail glass.

The classic daiquiri:
2 ounces of light rum
1 ounce of lime juice (see above)
1 teaspoon of sugar
Shake with ice and strain into a cocktail glass. Alton Brown did an excellent show on cocktails, and he suggested using simple syrup instead of sugar. This definitely mixes better, but what I found is that when all is said and done, you end up with a really tasty lump of sugar at the bottom of the glass, similar to the wonderful sludge you used to find at the bottom of your cereal bowl as a kid. If you like the flavor, you might also add a dash of orange juice to the mix.
On a side note, AB also mentioned that this was a favorite cocktail of Earnest Hemingway. As a writer, that sells it to me even more. heheheh.

And finally, my new favorite cocktail.
The classic Manhattan:
2 ounces of bourbon (again, I recommend Maker's Mark)
1 ounce of sweet vermouth (it actually calls for 1/2 ounce, but I like mine a little sweeter)
1 dash of bitters
Mix the ingredients in a glass with ice, stir, and then strain into a cocktail glass. Michelle hated this drink, but then she doesn't like the taste of bourbon. I thought it was great. I'll be curious to see if bartenders can actually pull it off.
At some point, I'm also going to try and make an Old Fashioned.

A really great site that I've found for cocktails and some interesting commentary about them is www.drinkboy.com.

So, I recommend these classic cocktails as a nice simple drink that gets the job done without alot of fuss. If anybody decides to try them, I'd love to hear what you think. And if you have any other favorites to recommend, I'm always looking to add to my drink mixing repertoire.

My only caveat: at 2 or 3 ounces of hard liquor a piece, these things aren't exactly forgiving. So don't over do it. Enjoy, but be safe. Cheers!

Knowing thyself

2007-12-15T07:40:00.000-08:00

**Warning: This post may be boring to most readers. Sorry about that.**

Hello again, friends.

I must say, I had dreamed of being able to sit on my couch and blog. Now that the dream has come true, it is everything I believed it could be. It is so amazing to be part of the 21st Century. Thank you Texas Instruments. Thank you. (If this is confusing to you, just visit the Texas State History Museum some time.)

Anyway, getting back to the point of this post. I'm always looking to broaden my horizons and add a few more wrinkles to my brain. So I line up these little projects, and I do some research and try and learn a new skill. A while back, Michelle and I decided that we needed to improve our knowledge of wines. So, while we were on the Alaskan cruise, we took a little wine tasting class. It was great, and we got to taste some very expensive wines that we would ordinarily have never tried. Since then, we've done some reading, and most importantly, we've continued to try new wines to see what we like and learn more about what there is out there. So now, we are able to talk with at least a little bit of understanding about what we really like in wines, and when we go into a restaurant, we're able to order and have a good idea of what we're going to get.

Well, lately, I've been trying to do the same thing with the good ol' fashioned booze. One of the things I've always wanted to be able to do is drink scotch. Don't ask me why, I guess it's just one of those things that I got into my head as on of those manly things that I should be able to do. So I did some exploring, and some tasting and came to a surprising conclusion: I don't really like scotch.

Now, this bothered me for a while, until I did some more experimenting and found out another surprising thing: I like bourbon. Lemme splain.

Having spent alot of money on single-malt scotch, twelve-year-old Glenfidditch to be exact, I decided to just go cheap with my next whiskey purchase. So I fell back on that good old Tennessee sippin' whiskey, Jack Daniels. And surprisingly, I found I had a taste for it. I find that it doesn't have the bite that alot of scotch's have, and I didn't feel bad about mixing it with a little bit of diet coke.

This led me to find out more about American whiskey, and inevitably, led me to look into Kentucky bourbons. After doing a little research, I found good recommendations for Maker's Mark, one of the first bourbon's to be distilled in the States after the repeal of prohibition. And I'll be damned if it isn't tasty tasty stuff. And potent, too. But I find that it's easy to drink with a little bit of water, but it also mixes well with other simple ingredients to make some really nice cocktails.

Which leads me to my next post.

Hmm... Well, this post didn't exactly turn out the way I planned it. I didn't mean for it to turn into a long exposition about my tastes in booze. Oh well. If you made it this far, I guess you can forgive my tendency towards lecturing.

Anyway, in summation: my red wine of choice - Cabernet Sauvignon; my white wine of choice - Pino Grigio; and my hard liquor of choice - Maker's Mark Kentucky Bourbon.

Now you know just a little more about me.

Breathing room

2007-12-09T18:11:00.000-08:00

As in, I finally got some.

It's been a little crazy around here for the last few weeks. And my blogging has suffered for it, of course. I can't say that my writing has suffered for it, however, because other writing is part of what has taken me away from blogging.

A few weeks ago, a friend of mine put me onto a job posting. Bioware Austin is looking for writers for their new MMO. Now, I'm not sure whether it's the new Mass Effect MMO, or the new Knights of the Old Republic (Star Wars, that is, how awesome would that be??). Anyway, I finally decided to get off my lazy but and take a shot. So, I've spent quite a bit of time over the last few weeks working on my submission for the job. This required buying a copy of Neverwinter Nights, one of the most popular RPGs ever, and then learning how to use their editing toolset to create my own playable module. It didn't have to be complicated. In fact, what they were primarily interested in was the dialog. So, I had to write 3000 words of interactive dialog. That means not just writing a conversation that someone reads, but writing it in such a way that the player has options that they can choose from to guide the conversation, while still imparting important information that drives the game.

It was a big challenge, but it was really fun. I finally managed to submit it, along with my resume and a short cover letter. The big problem is that I have zero real creative writing experience. I don't have any portfolio of which to speak. And I was too embarrassed to link them to The Red Dragoon, or to the writing I've done for the UDI wiki. But, I have cast my dice. We'll see where they fall.

Of course, the other big thing that took up all of our time was the very unfortunate and sad situation with Michelle's grandmother. Thank you all again for kind words and support. It was a long and painful experience for Michelle and her family, especially her mother. Harder, I think, than what my family had to go through a few years ago when we lost my grandmother on my father's side. That's another story though.

So, we finally got back to work this week, caught up on all of the missed emails, the missed visits, and the overdue manual projects. And we finally got some breathing room.

So it was nice. Friday I came home and drank way too much Maker's Mark (that's good Kentucky bourbon, by the way) and then went out to see Beowulf in 3-D with George and Lynn. Michelle was going to go, but she crashed and burned and I couldn't budge her. Then yesterday, as a means to get over my hangover, I finally went out and bought us a laptop. Which is really cool, because now I can sit her on my comfy couch and watch TV AND BLOG!! YAY!!

Today, we got massive amounts of Xmas shopping done, I finally got around to putting up the lights on the house, both inside and out, and I even tried my hand at making eggnog, using a recipe from Emeril. As we speak, it's chilling in the fridge, and now that my lovely wife has just come home and exclaimed in excitement about the lights being up (it was a surprise), I am going to have a cup and take a deep breath.

My associates and associations

2007-11-09T16:04:00.000-08:00

Ah, the human brain. It is an incredible machine. It always astounds me with its abilities in others, and very often I am surprised by the things of which my own electro-chemical blob is capable. (For instance, after three shots of Jack I can still avoid ending a sentence with a preposition, and after far too many imported German beers, I can still use the word "miasma" spontaneously and correctly in normal conversation.)

One of the things that has always fascinated me is the associations that my brain makes with certain things. We all, of course, have recognized our ability to associate smells with certain memories. As an example, when I get a whiff of the rare combination of bus exhaust and hot asphalt, I am instantly whisked away to summers as a youngster going to Six Flags in Dallas on school trips. Or when I catch the unlikely combination of dust, pine needles and cigarette smoke, I conjure up distinct memories of attending the Ren Faire in Plantersville with my college mates.

But it is another kind of association that I want to explore in this post. I often find that I have made very strong associations between certain people and images, sounds, actions, or items. Almost every time, these are pleasant memories, and they remind me of the people that I truly care about and am lucky to have connected to my life. So I want to share a few of these things. Some of them may be very familiar to the people I associate them with. (oops, there's that preposition) Others may be surprising.

When I reach across my desk at work, and grab the very manly unscented moisturizer to put on my chapped hands, or when I hear the refrain of a certain Rick Springfield song, I am always reminded of our little Lisa in Colorado.

When I the golden locks of a well-kept retriever, or catch a glimpse of licorice in the candy isle, I think just of Babs. Incidentally, I scored some pina colada flavored licorice at the Sportsman's Warehouse the other night. Don't worry, Babs, I'll bring you some to try.

When I take a sip of a particularly good wine, or see a really nice coi pond, I am always reminded of the immortal weaver of fire, Michelle B.

When I'm in the comic book shop and I see the latest Usagi Yojimbo, I'm always reminded of my ol' college pal Brandon.

When I hear the strains of Hootie and the Blowfish, I think back to spring days on the quad with my brother back at our alma mater, studying in our tiny dorm room with the window open, hoping to catch a glimpse of a cute co-ed sunbathing on the grass.

When I see a rainbow sticker, I can't help thinking of JoAnn, all smiles and sweetness, belying a very savvy and capable young woman.

When I see Japanese characters, Hiragana, Katakana or Kanji, I always think of Jeff, the eternal conundrum, constantly defying my ability to categorize him.

When I inevitably mispronounce "Home Depot", or when I see a documentary on the Great Wall, I think of Dipu, the whitest man I know.

When I watch a Kenneth Branagh production, or read any Shakespeare, I immediately think of Kasey, my old grad school chum who should be PhD by now and teaching at some exalted establishment.

When I do a jello-shot, as rare as that may be, I inevitably am reminded of Susie and her cleavage. (Thank God my wife doesn't read this blog)

There are so many more memories. So many more amazing people that I have encountered in this life, and that I call friends. Uh oh, the Jack is really kicking in. I've got to end this thing before it gets maudlin. Of course, that reminds me that every time I hear the word "maudlin", I thing of my old buddy Ryan in Atlanta. heh.

You are now thinking, "Huh. I wonder why he doesn't mention his wife, the most important person in his life." Well, that's simple. That's because I am never reminded of her. I never have to be. She is in my thoughts every minute of every hour of every day.

Crap. There's that maudlin thing I was talking about.

Anywho, even though I didn't intend to do this, I think this is a good time to issue a challenge. Other people have done this, and now it's my turn. If you read this, and you are a blogger, take a minute to update your blog with the things that remind you of the wonderful people, or even the people you hate, in your life. I can't wait to see how your minds work. The self-centered parts of me especially wants to know what things remind you of me.

Now, go forth and remember!!

MST

No way to go through life . . .

2007-11-04T16:43:00.000-08:00

Drunk and stupid that is. Indeed, it's no way to go through life. But it seems to be an okay way to enjoy Wurstfest. At least it was from my point of view.

I rarely enjoy dealing with large crowds, but I've found that being with good friends makes almost anything enjoyable. Sausage and beer never hurt anything either. Specifically, a wurstkabob. That is, five different kinds of lovely pork products on a stick with a hot roll at he bottom to keep the juices from running down onto your fingers. And the beer. Oh, the beer.

Approximately one hundred and twelve fluid ounces of the finest imported brew. Spaten, light and dark, Paulahner, and Werstiener. Does the magic never end?

Okay, the magic did end. Along about five o'clock this AM I found myself regretting every last creamy, foamy, golden ounce of goodness. How can something so good be so evil?

Oh, and the memories. The sketchy sketchy memories. Thank God I didn't bring my own camera. I guess we'll have to wait and see what shows up on Home Dipu. As I recall, there may be a video. Oh good lord . . .

At any rate, a fun time was had by all and I am recovering. But I think I've got my fill of German beer festivals or a while.

Too gone for too long

2007-11-02T18:11:00.000-07:00

Alright, so it's NaBloPoMo or NaPoBloMo or HaWoOdJaBloMe or something like that. Anyway, point is, it's been two months and I don't post something I'll never hear the
end of it.

I hate posting after a long hiatus, because I always feel the need to make up some excuse why I did post something sooner. Well screw that. No explanation, no excuses.

So Wednesday was Halloween, and as always, I got dressed up to go to work because I'm perpetually 12 inside and I love to play dress up. You want pictures. Fine. You got pictures. Here's a couple of me as Matt Vader, CEO of Empire Industries, Ltd. The flier at the bottom should explain it all.

The Power of the Internets

2007-08-29T08:04:00.000-07:00

I ordinarily just look and laugh briefly along with the rest of the world when the newest internet sensation rears it's hilarious head. But this one caught my attention, and I am amazed (perhaps naively) at how quickly people can respond en mass with the most hilarious comebacks.

Okay, that probably sounded confusing. Lemme 'splain.

Hopefully, you've all, by now, seen the footage of the hilariously painful and confused answer of the Miss Teen USA contestant talking about maps. Well, our brethren in the ether have quickly responded with an entire website devoted to providing maps for every possible need.

Take a chunk out of your day and visit MapsForUs.org. If you haven't seen the video of the addlepated contestant, it's right at the top of the page.

I'd draw you a map, but I'm busy trying to find the South Africa and The Iraq.

Novel Update

2007-08-28T21:09:00.001-07:00

Howdy, y'all.

This is just a quick update post regarding my other blog, my serial novel The Red Dragoon.

Although I haven't found much time to write lately, I have finally gotten around to posting two more chapters, Chapter 3 and Chapter 4.

If you're interested, I'd love some feedback on it. Just a warning, it's still pretty rough, and I can't figure out how to get the formatting right in blogger, but it's up and it's progressing . . . slowly.

Lolz

2007-08-27T10:46:00.000-07:00

One of Lisa's posts just begged for a photoshoppin'.

So, following the lead of www.lolcat.com, I humbly give you the following:

Playing catch up

2007-08-23T17:45:00.000-07:00

Well, apparently, I didn't get the memo on the whole post every day for a week thing. I guess I'm not any better at keeping up with reading other people's blogs than I am with updating my own.

I don't really have anything much to say today, but in the spirit of getting something up, I'll share a picture. A few weeks back, Michelle's brother got married. It was a beautiful wedding.

In fact, it was the kind of wedding that I had really wanted to give Michelle when we got married. And it was once again a display of how different most of the folks in this country grew up from the way I did. The bride and groom are simply wonderful together. I think they are both over 6 feet tall, both young and slim. Both doctors. And as much as the little green beast of jealousy wants to uncoil in the pit of my stomach and hate them, you just can't because they are two of the nicest people you will ever meet in your entire life.

And did I mention the bride's family has a house right on the banks of Lake Buchanan? And their best friends across the street have a mansion on the shores of Lake Buchanan? It was an absolutely perfect place for a reception, and we spent hours and hours eating and drinking and dancing. Almost all of Michelle's family was there, along with all of the bride and groom's family and friends from way back. There was this huge group of people listening to good music, and dancing and have beer and wine and spirits, and I realized what it must have been like to grow up around people who didn't think it was a mortal sin to have a brew and do a little two-steppin'.

One of my greatest regrets is that I will never be able to sit down and have a beer with my dad. Don't get me wrong, we have shared many, many happy times together, and I wouldn't trade any of them. But it struck me the other day as I was up at my parent's place in N.E. Texas. Dad and Grandpa and I had spent all day working in a sweltering shop, and having finished a days work we kicked back in the breezeway and let the cooling air carry away the heat of the day. And the only thing that could have made it more perfect was if we had been able to crack open an ice-cold brew and really shoot the shit. Aw well, maybe in the next go 'round.

Well, it seems that I had a little something to share after all. But getting back to my point, here is the picture. Nothing special, it's just that Michelle and I looked particularly grand on this occasion, and I'm proud to share. Check us out.

All the world's a game

2007-08-21T19:10:00.000-07:00

As my good friend Randy said today, it seems that I have "fish frying in every pot I've got" right now. It seems that I have come back around to where I was my junior and senior year in college. Namely, I have lots of extracurricular activities suddenly crowding my plate.

Work is just work, as it's always been, but now I seem to have tons of other stuff that I've gotten involved in and not nearly enough hours in the day to accomplish it.

First, of course, there's the blog. Poor, sad, lonely blog that I certainly have not been paying enough attention to.

Then there's the novel. The Red Dragoon is progressing slowly, mostly because it keeps getting back-burnered in place of other things. Chapter three is done, and has been for some time, but I haven't gotten around to giving it a quick edit and posting it. And of course, chapter four is simmering in the back of my mind. The problem is--okay, it's not really a problem--the more I write the more ideas I have for other things to write about. I already want to start on three other novels, and now I think I'm going to try and write a children's book of fables. Of course, right now, it's all trapped inside my big noggin with no way to get out because I have to waste ten or twelve hours out of my day with this stupid thing call a 'job' that pays the bills, and then another six or eight hours doing nothing but lying in the bed completely unconscious. It's ridiculous.

Now of course, it's the time of year for the JDRF walk activities to start. We've got to start forming up a team, working on fund-raising events and motivating our walkers to start bringing in the cash. Thankfully, I have JoAnn as a co-captain again this year, and that girl has energy to spare. Frankly she's leaving me in the dust, and I've got to catch up before I start becoming dead weight. Don't worry, though, you'll all be receiving emails soon asking for cash. It's a good cause. So don't be stingy. *wink wink*

Now where were we? Oh yes. There's always Toastmasters. Never-ending Toastmasters. It's a great club, don't get me wrong, but how I got myself talked into being an officer again this year is beyond me. I'm way to susceptible to guilt. I'm looking at you JoAnn... But hey, at least the speech I wrote last night is the one that gave me the idea of writing a children's book. Uncle Matt's Fables. I'm trying to decide if that has a ring to it or not.

And finally, the thing that's really starting to go gangbusters, is the Untold Dimensions. Or Dimensions Untold, we haven't decided yet. You see, my friend George is a AD&D enthusiast from way back, and he has some brilliant ideas for creating a far more interesting and easy to play RPG gaming system. And I've been helping him develop it. Of course, he does all the really hard stuff, all I do is act as a sounding board for ideas, and I'm also helping write some of the backstory for the different gaming environments we're creating to test the system. But it's one of the more interesting things I've been involved with in quite a while. If you're interested, George has started a forum at www.untolddimensions.com. And we're adding more to it everyday. My particular baby is the backstory for Sundered Planet, our SciFi setting. Which of course is taking time away from writing on the Red Dragoon, but you gotta do what you gotta do.

The real exciting thing about UD is that I'm hoping it has the potential to help me launch a new career in the game industry. In fact, George and I are attending the final day of the Austin Game Developers Conference in two weeks. It's a whole day devoted to Game Careers, and I'm really curious to see if there is actually anything I want to make a career out of. I mean, how cool would it be to be the voice of the next big game character? Or to write the storyline for the next mega blockbuster game? It is to dream...

So needless to say, I'm sorry if it seems like I'm ignoring some things. I've even had to set a new rule for myself. No more than one hour of TV a night. Just enough to watch one show, while I ride my exercise bike and eat dinner. So far it's working. Of course we'll see if I can break my addiction to the colorful electron flow. It hasn't even been a week yet. But in that time, I've written the first part of a game backstory, a successful speech, and this blog entry. Which is more than I've done in the last month.

I'm sorry for the longish entry this time, but I wanted to convince everyone that I'm not really a lazy bum. Okay, I' a bum. And I'm sorta lazy. Well, people change, right? Right?